Titanic Relations: A Sinking Ship (Part 1)

Ok, where do I start? Well as I am writing this, gently playing in the background are the sounds of ‘’Shekinah Glory – the Jazz Tribute’’, an album I absolutely love but would never have known about if I hadn’t been introduced to them by a FRIEND in the first place. This is an example of how one conversation can have a domino effect, with its results having an unpredictable yet life changing influence on something as small as my taste in music. Who would have figured???

The oxford dictionary would define the word ‘friend’ as;

1. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. A person who is on good terms with another

If asked to give my own definition of the word ‘friend’ I would say;

“A friend is an individual who looks past the faults of a brother/sister and endeavours to love them despite their inadequacies and imperfections. This same individual will very rarely hesitate to go that extra mile in order to practically demonstrate their devotion ensuring the complete well being of this person they consider to be closer than an acquaintance. Love, commitment, honesty and faithfulness are at the foundation of the relationship at hand, knowing fully well that the moment one of these characteristics go missing, the connection is in danger of breaking.”

Forgive my long winded definition, but to me that’s how I felt friendship can be best described, (apologies if you do not completely agree with this definition). Unfortunately what looks good on paper and what is put into practice are two different things. That’s the common trend with people like me, it always seems to be a ‘’do as I say, but not as I do’’ thing. There’s a word for people like us, ‘’HYPOCRITES’’.

So many a times I get people coming to me and complaining of how certain individuals in their life just abuse their kind nature and the love in which they pour into that particular relationship. This annoys me even to the point of anger at times. But here’s the joke, I find myself guilty of the very same things. Whether it is developing relationships with the opposite sex with no intention of commitment, not being faithful to a promise ‘I didn’t have to make’, MONEY ISSUES, or just a general lack of appreciation; these things are on the contrary to the definition I gave above.


Prov 16:28 - ‘’A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.’’

The first hole in my ship, Gossiping; and the truth is that we’re all guilty of it, FACT! Problem is when it comes out; Are we genuinely sorry that we gossiped in the first place, or just sorry that we got caught? A question I commonly ask myself. I remember when I would try and justify it by saying that ‘women gossip, men exchange information’, how sad is that…lol. A true friend will respect the privacy of the individual whom has decided to confide in them, whilst also deciding not to fruitlessly comment on matters which don’t concern them. Slander is dangerous, but yet we still do it. We need to learn how to control our tongues. Let us be quick to hear and very slow to speak.

So this is the first thing I feel I need to repent of. Publicly, I apologise for any kind of inappropriate discussions I’ve had with you or about you; both in private and in public. As a brother in Christ I have been called to build up the body, not tear it down. Forgive me….



Prov 18:24 – ‘’A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother’’

I thank God for my music; I constantly get to meet a lot of great new people I otherwise may never have met. The problem is, not all of them have been called to be my friends. A lot of people may feel that the more people you know and the more friends you have, the better off you’ll be. LIE!!! … I know one person in particular who can testify to that. The moment you try and turn 900 associates into 900 friends, you’re in for a big problem. Practically, it just won’t work. You remember my definition above, well try FAITHFULLY applying that to 15 PEOPLE, trust me it will be a struggle, talk less of 900. GOOD LUCK!

This is probably the second hole in many of my ships. No matter how much I give, there will always be a conflict of interests. In the long run, I end up loosing out. You cannot afford to be giving yourself to anyone and everyone; in the long run certain relationships will give way. I guess I need to repent for not prioritising those relationships which are truly dear to me. The superficial syndrome we all tend to exhibit of neglecting your trusty favourite toy for something new and shiny, just because it is new and shiny.

I have a lot more to say, but let me allow you to breathe for now. Marinade on that and digest this …

Part 2 coming soon….

(written on the 1^st November 2009)